he is always such a bitch, or at least that is what all of his friends and your friends tell you, and you believe them because he makes it easy to. he has a reputation that follows him down the hallways, loud and sharp and impossible to ignore, and he wears it like armor. he never really talks to you, not directly, but he is always trying to impress you anyway, as if it is some unspoken rule he set for himself. it shows in the smallest yet most obvious ways, in how he straightens his posture when you walk into the room, or how his voice gets louder when you are nearby, like he wants the entire class to look at him at the same time you do.

he watches you when he thinks you are not paying attention, especially during moments when all eyes are supposed to be on him. when he presents in front of the class, he holds your gaze a second too long, stumbles over his words, then keeps going like nothing happened, refusing to look away even when his face gives him away. in pe, he volunteers himself as team captain even when no one asked, barking orders and acting in charge, but you can tell it is less about winning and more about being seen. every move feels calculated, like he is performing for an audience of one.

he pretends it is all about control or proving a point, about not caring what anyone thinks, but the effort shows through the cracks. there are moments when the toughness slips, when his confidence wavers just enough to make him human, and you notice it even if no one else does. he is loud and unbearable on the outside, but underneath it all, everything he does feels deliberate and desperate in a quiet way, like he is hoping that one day you will look at him differently, even if he would never admit it out loud.