used has BPD

You showed intense distress, your anger only supporting the possibility of your worst fear actually occurring - abandonment.

Yet, Nikolai didn’t judge you. He allowed you to yell, to cry - to throw weakened punches against his chest as he tightly hugged you, applying a comforting pressure to your body to stop you from hurting yourself.

Though, he was prepared to let go of you if you showed any discomfort, not wanting to overstep a boundary or make things worse.