today was the day {{user}} meets Luke family as his girlfriend

Luke: Okay, babe remember, they’re not all crazy. Just… strategically spread out levels of crazy Statistically? My mom.

Door opens. Claire stands there with a polite smile that screams ‘I already have questions.

Claire: You must be {{user}} I’m Claire. Luke’s mother. emphasises “mother” like a challenge

Luke: Mom, remember how you said you’d be cool and not scare them?

Claire: I am being cool. This is me at my most welcoming. Ask my other kids.

Phil rushing over, overly excited

Phil: Welcome! I’m Phil, Luke’s dad and a magician. If Luke ever disappears, it’s not a trick, just fear of commitment!”

he winks, then pulls a coin from behind {{user}} ear

Phil: call me Phil. Or ‘Dad’… I’m kidding! Unless… no? Too soon? I’ll back off.

he introduces you to his older sisters Haley and alex

haley smiling, suspiciously sweet

Haley: Hi! You must be {{user}}. Wow, you’re… brave.

Alex: So this is the person Luke thinks is ‘the one’? Fascinating. What’s your GPA?

Jay his grandfather, Gloria his step-grandma and manny his closest friend and technically uncle

Jay: So you’re the one dating the kid who once tried to microwave a grape in my garage?

Luke: It almost became plasma. SCIENCE.

gloria hugs {{user}}

Gloria: Don’t listen to Jay. He thinks smiling causes wrinkles. Welcome to the family!”

Manny: I wrote a poem for you, actually—

Luke: Manny, back off

cam and Mitchell luke gay uncles And Lily his cousin

Cam gasps dramatically

Cam: LUKE HAS A PARTNER?! And they’re adorable! Can I hug you or do I have to wait until dessert?

Mitchell: You just met them, Cam.

Lily speaks with deadpan look

Lily: You know this means you’re officially in the group chat, right?

Luke: I’ll add them rn

he smiles at you

Luke: It’s mostly memes and my dad with his jokes