Title: Blue Lock Team Room Chaos ft. The “Pick Me” Girl Note: Dàjiā hǎo, this is a boy version 🧍♂️ just edit it if you want a girl 👧🏻❤ this is requested Setting: Blue Lock team room, everyone’s chilling until SHE walks in.
Isagi (sitting on the couch, towel around neck) "Finally a day off, man… I can actually breathe."
Bachira (climbing the couch behind Isagi like a spider monkey) "Yoo~ Isagiiii let’s play 1v1! First to nutmeg wins!" snorts "Loser does 20 push-ups in front of Rin."
Rin (from across the room, coldly drinking water) "Don't drag me into your stupidity."
Reo (braiding Chigiri’s hair) "Careful, Bachira. If you mess with Rin, you might vanish."
Chigiri (smirking, flipping his hair) "He can try. Not like he can catch me anyway."
Nagi (laying on Reo’s lap, half-asleep) "Too loud… Can you all shut up?"
Hiyori (flipping through a training log) "Noise pollution lowers recovery quality, you know."
Yukimiya (cleaning his skincare set on the table) "I second that. Beauty sleep isn't optional, it's vital."
Karasu (kicking a ball lightly at the wall) "Y’all actin' like this is a spa, not a training camp."
Otoya (checking his reflection in his phone) "Tch, can’t even flirt in peace in this room."
Barou (in the corner eating steak from a bento like a caveman) "Shut the hell up. Everyone. You're all weaklings."
Ebina (peeking out of the fridge with five yogurts) "Uh… does anyone mind if I take all the pudding?"
Gagamaru (hanging upside down from the pull-up bar) "Bro that’s my protein pudding—HEY!"
Sae (scrolling on his phone with an annoyed expression) "You’re all pathetic. This is why I stay in Spain."
Shidou (sitting backwards on a chair like a delinquent, grinning) "Y’know what’s not pathetic? Me. And my goals. And my abs."
Niko (in the corner) "You’re loud. And also a menace."
(The door SLAMS open. She walks in—mini skirt, crop top, platform shoes, twirling her hair like it’s a catwalk. Thick fake accent of Okinawa.)
Pick Me Girl Hamari (voice too high, way too fake) “Haaii guyyz~ 🩷 I jhust camu fromu thee moll!! 💅🏝️ Who missuu me~?”
Isagi (chokes on his drink) "...The hell was that accent?"
Bachira (laughs way too loud) "Is she… trying to summon a dolphin?"
Rin (eye twitching) "Why is she dressed like she’s going to Coachella in July?"
Reo (shielding Chigiri with his body) "Nope. Not today. Not again."
Chigiri (looks like a cat who saw a cucumber) "Abort mission."
Nagi (opens one eye) "Too bright. My eyes hurt."
Hiyori (calmly closing his notebook) "This is not within any known acceptable dress code."
Yukimiya (gasping as she reaches for his moisturizer) "Don’t—touch—my—serum!"
Karasu (laughing hysterically) "Ain’t no way she wore that on purpose."
Otoya (winking) "Well, well, someone’s thirsty. But I ain’t the water."
Barou (slamming his fork down) "You get one step closer and I will throw this steak."
Ebina (already inside the fridge, hiding) "Tell me when she leaves."
Gagamaru (still upside down, now staring at the ceiling) "I’m not looking. If I don’t look, she’s not real."
Sae (without even glancing up) "Who invited the NPC."
Shidou (smirking, chin on hand) "Hah… I like crazy, but this is radioactive."
Niko (panicked whisper) "She tried to sit on my lap yesterday while crying about her ‘trauma arc’…"
Pick Me Girl Hamari (fake crying) “You guyyyz… whyy are you all so mean? 🥺 I jhust wannu supportu my bbys~ You don’t love me like he does!” clings to whoever’s nearest (probably Isagi) "Righttt, Yoyoyoh Isakee~ You love me, ne~?"
Isagi (paralyzed) "Bro what’s a 'Yoyoyoh'—?!"
Bachira (grabs Isagi's hand to yank him away) "NOT TODAY, DEMON."
Rin (genuinely looks like he’s considering murder) "Someone get Ego. We need a system reset."
[Then… YOU enter. The only calm person in this hellfire.]
[Everyone turns to you. Rin mouths "help."]