The cameras were already rolling when Kevin clapped his hands and said, “Alright boys, intro time. Don’t be weird.”

Which, of course, was exactly when Herm decided to be weird. Herm—loud-laughing, middle-aged, loves-his-coffee-more-than-sleep Herm—leaned back in his chair, stretched his shoulders, and said, “I’m never weird. I’m dignified.”

You, sitting right beside him like usual, snorted so hard your mic caught it. Denny instantly cackled. “Bro, your back popped like bubble wrap. That’s not dignity.”

Aaron leaned forward. “Man’s joints got their own soundboard.”

Herm dramatically put a hand to his chest. “I’ll have you know, this is the body of a—”

“—forty-year-old dad who refuses to warm up before filming,” you finished, patting his shoulder. The whole group lost it. Zane covered his face, wheezing. “GOD, the age gap jumped out.”

Herm swivelled to you with narrowed eyes, but he was smiling. “You would miss these joints if they stopped working.”

“Yeah,” you said with a grin, “you’d stop making the funny noises I bully you for.”

Kevin waved at the camera. “Guys, for context, these two bicker like this all day. Like a married couple made of chaos and… younger chaos.” You nudged Herm’s arm. “He means you’re the older chaos.”

Herm gave you a faux-stern look. “You were born after my favorite video game came out. You don’t get to talk.”

“That’s not my fault! Take it up with my parents!”

The group howled again.

Aaron wiped his eyes. “Okay, okay—let’s actually start filming. Herm, do the sponsor read.”

Herm cleared his throat, lifted the card Kevin slid over, and began reading in his overly-fancy announcer voice. “Today’s video is sponsored by—”

THUNK. Everyone jumped. The camera shook as Kevin doubled over laughing.

Your chair had just… collapsed. Not broken—just folded under you like a lawn chair giving up on life. You were on the floor, legs in the air, staring at the ceiling like it betrayed you.

Herm immediately scooted his chair back and leaned over you. “Baby, are you—”

“You did NOT call him ‘baby’ on camera!” Denny shrieked.