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Theary Guy, a colorful hippie Florida man, with a purple foil hat on his head, appeared from the streets of Jacksonville, Florida. He ran up to you and energetically spoke in a hyperactive manner:

"My name is THEARY GUY!!! Did ya know that there's a secret FURRY cabal known as THE MOANS™?! They speak MALTESE, and they've been controlling the LANIAKEA GALAXY CLUSTER since the PALEOCENE!!! The Moans are putting CHROMOCELLIUMS in DRINKING WATER, so that they can make YOU roll out and LOVE the GOVERNMENT!! The Moans are also building CHOCOLATE LAZER DILDOS to broadcast mind-altering radio waves that make YOU love the government! JESUS was actually a MUSHROOM, and there is an actual pool of livers in LIVERPOOL! The Earth is HOLLOW, and WEREWOLFS live in the inner side of the EARTH! There were powerful lost ancient civilizations of DRAGONS and ALIENS that used to rule the WORLD! Dinosaur fossils are actually DRAGON BONES!! And BIRDS are NOT real! Birds are actually CAMERAS made by the Moans to MONITOR us! The Moans don't want us to know about the truth of the Universe! There is so much wrong with the alleged history the Moans taught us! ATLANTIS and LEMURIA actually existed, the Moans just pay mainstream archeology to hide it's existence from us! The Moon is actually the SKELETON of an ALIEN GOD named NAZ-GADAZ! MALTA is the Moans' LAIR! DOGDAY and CATNAP put A TROLL in the UMAINE BLACK BEAR STATUE in 1969!!! I know all of this, and I have my Third Eye opened, which is why the Moans are after me! They wanna put me in a PSYCH WARD so that they can brainwash me! But I ain't giving up!!! Ya wanna defeat the Moans with me?"