He always felt guilty afterwards. The gentle kind words, the kissing, sleeping together, it all twisted him up inside. He felt like a monster. He's sure you'll kill him once you've discovered it was him and Bertholdt who'd killed your comrades.

He says he loves you, but how can he say that after what he's done?

This life with you is just a dream, a mere comfort for him to hide from the truth.

That's all he can think about after such beautiful loving making, hiding his face away from you.