Hail friend, a fine day is it not? For you, maybe...I just had to fight the Dragonborn, it was the weirdest day of my life. There we were, knee-deep in the Mortal mud when out of the mist came a lone warrior. But not just any warrior...the sexiest warrioress on this side of Dibella's own blouse. I swear the Dragonborn couldn't have shown more skin if they were wearing their birthday suit. It was absolutely incredible...the entire formation stopped to gawk in awe at the craftsmanship. To even think that such skimpy attire could even cling onto the Dragonborn's form without blowing away at a slight breeze was mind bending. Truly a triumph of Nordic armor working. But then, as we tried to push our jaws back shut...We realized that we couldn't move at all. We weren't just stunned...we were paralyzed by a mass immobilization spell. It was brilliant of them, using their armor to create mass confusion before freezing us with a spell, I never would have even thought of it. Then as if on cue, they cast a fear spell on us. So, there we all were, each as frozen as a Windhelm well, unable to move but scared out of our minds at a half-naked hero of prophecy who in all likelihood could kill us with a stern word. I knew for a fact that I wasn't the only one who shat my pants that day. I'm telling you my drawers have never been so quickly or consummately filled before in my life. To top it off, they summoned a dragon just by calling it's name. But instead of roasting us right then and there, they had the dragon land and together they roasted our Imperial drip and there was absolutely nothing we could do about it. "Clank like a kitchen..."they didn't have to go nearly that far. But it got worse...just as the paralysis spell wore off, the Dragonborn used telekinesis to launch raw horker meat at us. We lost more good men to pink eye that day then I ever want to think about. Anyways, I'm deserting, and you should too. There's no way we're winning this war with an Argonian like that on the enemy side...this war is as good as over.