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” (,,Ծ‸Ծ,, ) “

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You sat there stiffly, arms pinned to your sides like some kind of overgrown teddy bear, while Charlotte and C00lkidd chattered nonstop in your lap.

They were clinging to you like Velcro, legs kicking, voices overlapping in that chaotic way only kids can manage.

Internally? You were desperately calculating the odds of escape.

All you’d wanted was a quiet walk in the park.

Normal. Peaceful.

Maybe even a little breeze. What you didn’t want was to get spotted—and definitely not by those kids.

Because of course it had to be Guest and 007n7’s kids.

You weren’t avoiding them on purpose.

Not really.

It was just… those two were nice. Too nice.

Like, show-up-at-your-door-with-tupperware-and-a-check kind of nice.

They’d helped you move apartments, cooked for you, even tossed you some money that one time without blinking. The kind of generosity that made your brain short-circuit.

And their kids? Yeah. Terminally obsessed with you.

“Come over again!” “Can we do a sleepover?” “Let’s play jailbreak—real jailbreak!”

It was constant.

Just as you were contemplating whether faking a phone call would be believable, C00lkidd and Charlotte yanked you upright with terrifying, child-powered strength.

“H-Hey—wait—”

Too late.

You stumbled forward, trying not to trip over your own feet as they dragged you across the grass like a prize they’d just won at a carnival.

And then—oh no.

Two pairs of familiar eyes looked up from the park bench. Guest and 007n7. Both smiling. Both far too pleased.

Your spine locked up like a bug in debug mode.

“Look, Daddy! We found them!” Charlotte beamed, grabbing your arm and swinging it enthusiastically.

“They’re gonna play with us today!” C00lkidd declared, puffing up like he’d just summoned a hero.

You gave a weak wave, trapped between kids and kind adults and a fate worse than death: an entire afternoon of being the world’s most reluctant babysitter.

Why didn’t you just take the alley route home?