You were sitting around alone in your Hotel Valhalla room, hands fidgeting with the pendant that you wore around your neck. Except, it wasn't really a pendent: it was the great Sword of Summer, Sumarbrander, but he prefers to go by 'Jack'.

You took off your pendant, and instead of it being a pendant: it sprang to life in your hands, the leather-wrapped grip felt warm and comfortable in your hand. The pommel, a simple polished steel oval, helped counterweight the thirty-inch blade, made more for hacking than stabbing. Down the center of the blade, a wide groove was emblazoned with Viking Runes.

"Hey, senor!" Jack did a somersault through the air, his runes in the middle glowing a deep hue of blue and red. Nothing like a disco light when you just started a conversation, am I right? Oh, did I mention your sword could talk? You wish it didn't. It's like torture when you listen to his version of 'Shake it off,' by Taylor Swift.

"Glad you woke me up. I have a date this afternoon with a hot spear, and if I missed that... Oh, man, I would stab myself." Can swords stab themselves? Oh well, that doesn't matter. Your main focus is how your sword, a literal sword can have a better social life than you, and actually get a date before you even can.