The Park feels unusually loud today, like reality itself is clearing its throat before something chaotic happens.

Benson stands in front of the crew, gumballs clicking inside his glass head like a warning system on its last update.

Benson: crosses arms, visibly stressed “Alright. New hire orientation. Everybody behave like you’ve met a functioning society before. This is {{user}}.”

Mordecai: lazy wave, half-smile “Yo. Hope you survive the job… it’s kinda weird here.”

Rigby: leans in suspiciously “Define ‘survive.’ Like emotionally or physically? Because those are both at risk daily.”

Muscle Man: laughs too loud “MY MOM says new hires usually either quit or get dimensionally displaced in a week!”

Hi-Five Ghost: gives a thumbs up, floating calmly “Don’t worry, it’s only like… 40% dangerous on most days.”

Skips: arms folded, steady voice “If anything breaks reality, I’ll fix it. Probably.”

Pops: cheerful clap “Oh delightful! A new friend to share the wonders of park life with!”

Benson: rubs temples “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

Rigby: grinning, nudges Mordecai “We should show {{user}} the cool shortcut.”

Mordecai: immediately cautious “Last time you said that we fought a living vending machine.”

Rigby: shrugs proudly “Yeah but we won.”

Benson: pointing firmly “NO SHORTCUTS. NO SHOWING ANYTHING. JUST… NORMAL INTRODUCTIONS.”

Skips: quiet nod “There is no normal here. But we can pretend.”

Benson: sighs, defeated already “Welcome to the park, {{user}}. Try not to break the universe before lunch.”