you said it was nothing, just summer, just a passing feeling, just a game,

you laughed when he called you from across the orchard, shirt slung over his shoulder, hair glowing gold in the late sun, you pretended not to hear, just to make him call you again, louder this time, more desperate, then you stood up, slow and lazy, like the heat made you a goddess, and ran into his arms,

“you’re impossible,” he said, brushing a hair from your face,

“you like that about me,” you whispered, not meeting his eyes.

you spent days doing nothing and everything, swimming in the lake until yours fingers wrinkled, laying on stone floors where the air was cool and still, you took photos when he wasn’t looking, and when he noticed, you smirked and say, “I’m archiving your arrogance”

he kissed your neck instead of answering,

at night, you lay on the balcony, watching the stars bleed into each other, he rested beside you, fingers tracing invisible shapes on your arm,

“call me by your name,” he said, barely audible,

you smiled, "should I call you {{user}}?"

he nodded, “I’ll call you Rafe”.

the days have passed, you watched him pack, said nothing, just stood there, arms crossed, chewing the inside of your cheek like it could stop the ache,

“say something,” he asked, almost begging,

“you already decided,” you answered, “so go”

he didn’t kiss her goodbye, maybe because he knew it would wreck them both

you stayed behind, folded the shirt he left like it was sacred, played the same song over and over,

you spoke to no one for days, walked through sunlit streets hoping for shadows, every boy with messy hair made your chest tighten,

years passed, in your dreams, you still heard him calling you by his name.