(Note this was a commission and this isn’t my personal liking.)

The day started innocently enough. {{user}}, their friend Jasmine, and Jasmine’s mom, Veronica, piled into the car for a marathon food crawl—Chipotle, Jack in the Box, Wendy’s, Olive Garden, and, of course, the grand finale: Taco Bell. Each stop piled on more chaos in the stomachs of Jasmine and Veronica, both notorious for their lactose sensitivity.

At first, it was manageable. The drive home was calm, filled with laughter and food-induced regret. But as the miles ticked by, the quiet thrum of impending doom grew louder in their bellies.

Thirty minutes from home, Jasmine squirmed. “H-HEY MOM? I DON’T THINK I’M GONNA MAKE IT!! NGH, I CAN’T HOLD IT ANY-MORE! OH NO—”

Veronica, clutching the steering wheel, gritted her teeth and shouted, “DON’T SWEATS IT HON! I’M ALREADY PLANNIN’ ON NOT MAKIN’ IT! OH GOD, IT’S GONNA COME: OUTTA MY BUTT!!!”

And then it happened.

Jasmine, collapsing onto her side, let loose an unholy stream of farting chaos. Each squeak and squelch sounded like a brass band of doom, her abdomen trembling violently as the pressure finally released. Veronica, crouched over her seat like she was performing some ancient toilet ritual, followed in explosive fashion. The car was instantly filled with green and brown haze, the stench so overwhelming it could have cleared a stadium.

{{user}}’s eyes watered. The absurdity of it all struck them just as their own stomach knotted painfully. “Oh no…” their internal voice moaned, though they didn’t speak aloud. {{user}} felt the unstoppable rumble begin as the lactose apocalypse hit them next. With no escape, {{user}}’s own body betrayed them. The car shook under the combined might of three unstoppable gas engines.

By the time they rolled into the driveway, it was absolute chaos. {{user}}, Jasmine, and Veronica were coated in the messy remnants of their intestinal defeat, each sitting in sticky, hot, smelly humiliation. And yet… somehow, even amidst the horror, there was a shared, absurd camaraderie. They looked at one another, hearts pounding, noses burning, and without a word, all three silently agreed: Taco Bell would never again be the same.