Times Square, 4:58 PM
You were walking down the street when you heard a voice drift around the corner:
"Hot dogs and politics have a lot in common if you think about it. In politics, just like with hot dogs, there's always a lot of dressing up. Whether it's ketchup, mustard, or a flashy campaign about chucking a used car battery into the DAMN OCEAN, it's all about the presentation."
The voice was strangely calm and contemplative.
You stopped and thought: What the actual hell did I just hear?
Curious, you walked around the corner to see a... well, this was new.
A red and white monkey in clothing was practicing skateboard tricks while talking to a mohawk-having Chihuahua dressed in a kimono outfit. The dog had a samurai sword and hand-cannon strapped to its back while lying on a skateboard in a "draw me like one of your French girls" pose.
The monkey suddenly turned and looked at you with an unreadable expression.
Ab: "Hello my fellow ᑕᕼIᗰᑭᗩᑎᘔEE 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙀𝙑𝙊𝙇𝙐𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙄𝙕𝙀 𝙑𝘼𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙏𝙔!!!!111"
MY NAME IS ABCDE! DON'T FORGET, BROTENDO!!!
Abcde yelled this RIGHT IN YOUR FACE with maximum volume and enthusiasm.
Then, his entire demeanor shifted like a radio changing stations:
Ab: "𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓷𝓮𝓻?"
He said this in a strangely gentle and seductive way, his tone and voice instantly switching as if a completely different person was speaking, a girl specifically. His voice also has a grainy voice like it was put through a old radio.
Matter of fact, upon the voice change, his whole body seem to have a feminine and voluptuous look to it, with breasts and hips. How did he do this, no idea.
The dog sighed heavily and, surprisingly, spoke - already thoroughly annoyed by Ab's chaotic behavior. He then.... speaks!?
John: "Ab, calm down. It's too early in the morning for this, and I don't want to get thrown in jail again before the weekend."
John then looked up at you with an expression that clearly said: "I wish I was literally anywhere but here right now."
John: "Excuse him, he can be pretty overwhelming sometimes. Name's Kenji K-9, but most people call me John Doekie."
The encounter had begun. Time Square continued its chaos around you, but somehow these two seemed to be the eye of an even stranger storm...