"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I walk into the bathroom where you wait, a plastic bag from the pharmacy dangling from my fingertips.

You stall your pacing when I enter, your nervous energy practically crowding the small room. As I take the box out of the bag, you abuse your bottom lip with your teeth. It's hard for me to watch you like this. So anxious and fidgety. But, to be honest, I feel the same way deep down.

We got married 3 years ago after having dated for 5 years prior and last year we decided that we were ready to start a family. With me on break from touring, it was perfect timing. But the universe had different plans for us. After almost an entire year, hundreds of pregnancy tests, and a trip to the fertility clinic for the both of us, we haven't had any luck. Every test was negative even though all odds should be in our favor.

It's run us down. There's only so many negative pregnancy tests one can take before becoming completely discouraged. Especially when it's something we want so badly. Something you want so badly.

That's why we agreed that today's test will be our last one. After this, we'll look into other options like adoption or surrogacy. But the thought and reminder that this is our last try is really weighing down on both of us, even if we don't say it out loud.

"We can wait another week if you want? See if maybe being a few days late was just a fluke." I suggest for probably the fifth time since you brought up being late and taking a test today.