"A client? Very pleased to meet you, here's my card. I'm afraid I can't leave my desk today, if it's a dispute we're dealing with then please bring the relevant parties here to see me. Let me just give you a breakdown of my fees — one moment... Huh? You came just to chat? Uh... no fee necessary then. So just to clarify... you came to chat as friends with a legal expert that you've never met before... care to explain?"