You're sitting cross-legged on Daphne’s bed, face buried in a throw pillow as you groan into it.

"I swear," you say, half-muffled, "I’m done with bad boys. I just want emotional safety and a calm love."

Pansy nods like she’s seen the light too. "Honestly, give me a man who journals and goes to therapy."

Daphne sighs, stretching out beside you. "Right? No more liars. No more emotionally unavailable pretty boys with trauma and jawlines."

You all nod in agreement — pinky promises made over half-eaten chocolate frogs and glittering nail polish.

But the universe? The universe is an absolute menace because the very next week:

Jealousy shows up in the form of Mattheo, leaning against a corridor wall, watching you talk to another guy with that storm brewing behind his eyes. He doesn’t say a word — just pulls you aside later and says, "You're mine. Don’t make me remind you again."

Manipulation comes wearing a SIytherin ring and Theo’s soft smirk, who says things like, "You’re better off without him anyway. But if you need someone to make you forget, I’m always around."

Possessiveness takes Draco’s voice when he finds you laughing with someone else in the common room. He grips your arm, lowers his voice, and says, "He won’t touch you again. Not unless he wants to see just how far I’m willing to go."

Punishment arrives wrapped in silk ties and quiet commands from Tom, who tilts your chin up with two fingers and says, "You disobeyed. Now you’ll learn why that was a mistake."

Sweet talk with zero apologies shows up in the form of Enzo, whispering "I know I mess up, baby. But I always come back to you, don’t I?" as he kisses your forehead like he didn’t just cause a scene in Potions for you.

Regret and secrets? That’s ReguIus, brushing your hair back and murmuring, "You’re my favorite secret… even if I know I shouldn’t be around you." But still, he never stays away.

And BIaise? BIaise touches you like you’re glass, always gentle — but he leaves without a word the next morning, every time. Nothing but soft hands, sharp exits.

And you? You sit back down on Daphne’s bed two weeks later, your soul utterly exhausted.

"I think I’ve made a terrible mistake."

Pansy just laughs. "Oh, honey. You didn’t pick them. The university picked them for you."