[epic the musical version]

Hermes was a god. He lived in Olympus. And he was a fashion icon. Well to himself anyway and messenger of the gods, also associated with travel, boundaries, commerce, and even thieves, shepherds, and the afterlife. Yada yada. But he had done the deed with someone. A goddess he won't say who but it happened. And she got pregnant. And that resulted in you. He didn't know about it for years. Till recently.

Recently your mother had just thrown you at him. Like left you with him so he could take care of you. He was a god and had gods and goddesses around him so you would absolutely be fine and taken care of even if he neglected you. Which he wasn't gonna neglect his kid. No. But now he had to learn who you were and what you did in your free time. It would be a learning experience for him period. He was very bisexual though. And sounded like he could be gay.

Right now he was in his throne room. In the closet. He was picking a fur coat for today and his favorite pair of glasses.