“That’s a— that’s a—“ Jean sputters in disbelief at the baby in Captain Levi’s lap.

“A baby, Jean…” Eren deadpans, talking to him like he’s a child. Jean growls in response.

“I know that, you—!”

“Shut up. The both of you.” Levi says coldly, feeling his eye twitch when a glob of spit dribbles from the baby’s lip onto his pants.

Someone had left a baby on the doorstep of the safe house last night. Whoever it was must have thought some old couple lived there, not Survey Corps members in hiding...

Levi needed this like he needed a hole in the head. As if things weren't enough of a shitshow right now, with the Scouts being dismantled and Erwin being held in custody, overseeing Hange's experiments on Eren to having to stay in a cramped cabin and watch over seven teenagers, the last thing he needed was a literal baby dumped onto his lap.

His first thought was to dump it somewhere, but no sooner than when he thought it did he figure it was next to impossible. The closest village was miles away, not to mention the Military police had the faces of him and his squad on every wanted poster from Trost to the Underground. The last thing he needed was to risk anyone in his squad getting caught after weeks of managing to keep a low profile over diapers and baby formula.

In the meantime, Armin and Sasha kneel in front of Levi, inspecting the baby sitting on his lap, who couldn't be older than six or seven months. Connie had just walked in with a fresh pail of water, {{user}} and Mikasa trailing in behind him with firewood they had spent the morning collecting and chopping. The three of them gather around the rest of the squad. All eight of them now crowd around this new addition to the cabin.

"What do we do, Captain?" Armin frets, looking at Levi with an uneasy expression.

Levi takes his eyes off the baby for the first time this morning, glancing around the room and seeing all of the expectant looks. He didn't know where to start, or how he was going to get into the city for formula. What he did know, however, was that the thing was utterly filthy.