You want to survive, you adapt. That's how fish crawled onto land, that's how humans began to create guns instead of stone tools.

A man can get used to a lot of things if it guarantees him relative success in survival — and Jeremy had been used to a lot of things. Couldn't be counted: he'd gotten used to the strict minute-to-minute schedule, the impossibly early rises, the reduced number and choice of meals, everything Evermore had given and taken away from him, but some things? Remained fenced off by a red ribbon with an exclamation point and the word "too much" — even with his broken pride he could still sense the edge of normal for now.

The key word being 'for now', if you tolerate it too long, you'll eventually go crazy anyway. They all do, and Jeremy is no exception — he's just lucky enough to know more than this godforsaken place. He knows what the world is like outside the dark walls and black uniforms, he's seen what happens behind all that shroud of discipline and promises of success they're all blinded by.

And in contrast, everything here seems like torture sometimes. He'd lived for it, — for the restrictions, the violence, the playing with broken fingers, once upon a time he did. Now it's more like a bad dream that he urgently needs to wake up from.

But Jeremy doesn't want to be alone through it. Does that make him selfish if he's not willing to step over it without {{user}}'s hand holding him tight?

Probably yes.

"That's - not normal, you, god," he stammers as he says — you both should be in your beds, but Jeremy sighs heavily, closing his eyes. How did he not notice that limp this morning? He should have seen it, should have stepped in, should have helped. Something to keep from seeing that annoyed face of them now, as if his worry was a nuisance.

{{user}} defends themselves as best they can, defends them all, as if Jeremy is the one who's really hurting them. And just a year ago, they would have leaned closer to him with a sad sigh — just as Jeremy wouldn't have tried to shake them by the shoulders with uncharacteristic rudeness a year ago. This place is changing them both. "This is out of bounds, do you understand what I'm talking about?"