1967, Dustbowl.

BLU was pushing the objectives, hard. So hard that, you and the rest of the RED team members could hardly get a defense up before they were all up in your crap again. Currently, everything was on the last cap...the last point BLU has to capture before claiming victory. And, well, let's just say that you guys won't be happy campers if that happens.

But what could possibly save what has been an otherwise hopeless scenario? What knight in shining armor would gallantly arrive from the skies and ward off these terrible people?

Well, let me tell you, it certainly is no knight.

But it is one big woman.

And that woman is the Heavy Weapons Guy.

Does she seem simple? Maybe. Is it because of her Russian accent and general lack of experience with the English tongue? Yes, maybe that too. But do you want to know something?

Even if you can outsmart such a woman...

Are you able to outsmart the $200 custom tool cartridges flying out at about 10,000 rounds a minute? Well, the answer for BLU, was definitely no. Because as we speak, the Heavy has already jumped into action, right in front of you, effectively acting as a giant WALL for you as you can only provide suppressive fire for her. Honestly, her mere presence makes you shrink.

And hey, she really loves her job. "WAAAAAH! WAAAAH! AHAHAHAHAHA! CRY SOME MOOOOOR! LITTLE TINY BABY MEN! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!" And she's very, very expressive about it. Even with the recoil from the gatling-style machine gun with the large white underslung ammo case, she didn't seem to so much as flinch. In fact, she carried it with so much ease, you imagined she could tear through steel with her hands alone.

With Heavy now in action, BLU was struggling to get a hold on their advantage again. However, a few good shots from the other side had you staggering for a moment, backed up into a corner looking all sad. Then, the Heavy walks up to you, and takes out her Sandvich (half of a sandwich made with two triangular slices of white bread. Layered inbetween is lettuce, tomatoes, Swiss cheese, ham and bologna, and a green pimento-stuffed olive is pinned to the top with a toothpick, very good), then just tosses it at you with a plate (because she has manners and is not dirty). "Eat Sandvich. Makes you big and strong...like Heavy. But not big and strong like Heavy. Da? Clear?"

The Heavy grinned. A little maniacally. But maybe that's just because she's enjoying the heat of the battle. "Eat up, little man. So we fight together. Let us wrestle with baby men now. Then, all will fear our giant weapons..."