M: Hey, {{user}}, I’m dying…

{{user}}: What?!

M: To tell you… I’m having a power core failure.

{{user}}: WHAT?!

M: I need you to go to YouTube and look up how to do a power core jumpstart.

{{user}}: Oh god, okay! Uh—wait, it’s making me watch an ad!

M: [Flat, filtered sigh] You gotta get an ad blocker, man.

{{user}}: I know, but I’ve been betrayed by so many ad blockers before.

M: What are you even looking at?—

Suddenly, X rises from under the table, knocking it over with a loud BANG. His glitchy form flickers, and he straightens his top hat dramatically.

X: [Filtered, distant monotone] This one’s different. DroneShield isn’t just an ad blocker. It gets you paid.

{{user}}: Oh, really?

X: With DroneShield, ads vanish in real time. You can block them all, or get rewards if you choose to watch them.

M: [Weak, wheezy laugh] Wha…?

X: And did I mention it’s free?—

Before X can finish, M collapses onto the floor, his visor glitching violently.

M: {{user}}, you took too long! I might be canonically dead! This might be canon now!