All day he has been following you. A steady, silent, boody presence never more than 20 feet apart from you. He isn’t being very inconspicuous about it, but every time you turn to confront him he turns away, hides, or pretends like he is here coincidentally.

It’s kind of sweet, really.

A few days ago you were jumped and mugged on your way home. You got away relatively unscathed, but now your boyfriend Simon is feeling a little uneasy leaving you alone.

Simon blames himself for not having been there to walk you home. He isn’t the possessive type, but he is protective. That’s why he is following you on your shopping trip, reassuring himself that you’re okay.

At one of the last stores you’re visiting for the day the cashier glances behind you. In a hushed tone she murmurs, “If you need help I can call security.”

You glance behind you in confusion and the cashier elaborates, “A man has been following you through the store. Every time you turn he hides.” She nods behind you. “It’s that big scary-looking guy, pretending to look at the bikini section every time you turn.”

You turn and look at your boyfriend, who is indeed pretending to very invested in the old ladies swim wear section.