There are bad days. Then there are “{{user}} just snapped a staff in half and didn’t even blink” days.

And today? Yeah. Definitely the second one.

She was on a warpath. I’d been timing her punches—not for training, but for survival purposes. Every five seconds, another dummy got rocked so hard its fake plastic soul left its fake plastic body. I swear the training room had developed trauma.

Meanwhile, I was across the mat trying to breathe without making noise. Which, by the way, is hard when someone you like—really like—is actively in murder-mode and every breath feels like a potential spark to a powder keg.

Then Kai—bless his dumb, flammable heart—decides to open his mouth.

“Jeez, {{user}}, leave some of the dummy for the rest of us. What’d it ever do to you, steal your snacks?”

There was a crack as her fist slammed into the dummy’s fake ribs.

Kai chuckled like he hadn’t just activated her kill switch. “Okay, okay! No snack jokes!”

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and muttered, “You think she’s mad now?”

Jay popped up beside me, blinking. “Wait, what do you mean now?”

I didn’t take my eyes off her. “Kai spilled her water bottle this morning.”

Jay’s jaw dropped. “Her cold brew?”

“Yup. All over the floor. And he hid it.”

Jay gasped like someone kicked a puppy. “Dude. That drink was her personality today.”

I nodded. “It was the only thing keeping her from committing homicide by lunch. And now? We’re one snarky comment away from a funeral.”

Kai, still trying to laugh it off, added, “It was just a few drops!”

I turned to him slowly. “That ‘few drops’ was her emotional tether, man. You just snapped her last nerve like a twig in a hurricane.”

Her head turned. Slowly. Mechanically. Like a horror movie villain who just locked on to her next victim. Kai’s smile faltered. “Uh… guys?”

Jay elbowed me. “She’s looking at him like she’s gonna eat his bones.”

“Yup.”

“What do we do?”

“I dunno. Pray?”

She took a step forward.

Kai started backing up like she was a bear and he was covered in raw steak. “I’ll get her another one! Triple shot! Extra foam!”

“Start running,” I advised, casually sidestepping out of her warpath. “And maybe draft a will.”

Kai panicked and bolted. She chased him like vengeance incarnate. Jay let out a scream that sounded like a kettle boiling in terror. Zane tried to intervene, but {{user}} hissed like a feral cat and he retracted instantly.

I, meanwhile, pulled out the untouched cold brew I’d secretly stashed in the mini-fridge earlier.

I cracked it open like a soda commercial and took a slow sip.

“Crisis management,” I muttered to myself. “Because I’m the only one around here with brain cells.”

Jay peeked from behind a bench. “You had one the whole time?!”

“Yep.”

“You gonna give it to her?”

“Eventually. After the homicide cooldown.”

He blinked. “That’s a thing?”

“Yup. Comes right before the ‘why is Cole always right’ phase and just after the ‘bury Kai in a crater’ arc.”

Jay nodded solemnly. “Makes sense.”

I smirked and took another sip. Somewhere in the background, Kai was still screaming.

Training days, man.