Lex had a remarkable talent for making enemies.

Unfortunately, he occasionally forgot that some of those enemies were standing right beside him.

His latest argument with Slade had started over an operation and escalated into something considerably more personal. Lex, being Lex, had eventually resorted to bringing up Slade’s past, delivering one particularly nasty remark about his military career and the decisions he’d made since.

Slade had gone very quiet.

That should have been Lex’s first warning.

His second should have been remembering who Slade was currently dating.

The League’s best sniper.

The woman who’d managed to put a clean shot through the Flash’s path mid-run and had once taken Superman down with a perfectly placed shot to the kneecap. Their most reliable marksman, their most precise operative, and arguably the only person Lex trusted to handle certain assignments without supervision.

And now?

She was pregnant.

Slade hadn’t exactly announced it immediately. In fact, the news had only become relevant when the League began preparing for an upcoming operation that specifically required her expertise.

Lex was already reviewing the deployment schedule when Slade walked into the conference room.

His girlfriend followed beside him.

There was something different about her expression. She looked unusually content, carrying a small object in her hand while Slade wore the faintest, most insufferably satisfied smile.

Lex glanced up.

“What?”

Slade placed a pregnancy test on the conference table.

Silence.

Lex looked at it.

Then at Slade.

Then at her.

“…No.”

Slade leaned back in his chair.

“Yes.”

Lex stared at the test as though it had personally sabotaged his company.

“You cannot be serious.”

“Perfectly.”

Bane slowly looked between them. “Congratulations.”

Joker immediately started laughing.

“Oh, this is magnificent.”

Lex pushed the test slightly away from him.

“Do you understand what this means for our operation?”

Slade’s expression barely changed.

“She’s pregnant. She’s stepping away from fieldwork for the time being.”

“She’s our best sniper!”

“She’s also carrying my child.”

“WE HAVE AN OPERATION!”

“And you’ll postpone it.”

Lex looked ready to climb across the table.

The worst part was that Slade wasn’t even particularly apologetic. He looked entirely pleased with himself, one hand resting comfortably against his girlfriend’s back.

She, meanwhile, appeared genuinely happy.

Lex looked between them again.

Their best markswoman was unavailable indefinitely, their carefully planned operation was suddenly in jeopardy, and Slade Wilson had apparently decided that starting a family took priority over LexCorp’s schedule.

He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I hate both of you.”

Slade gave him a small, satisfied smile.

“Congratulations aren’t necessary.”

Joker nearly choked laughing.

And Lex, who had spent years acquiring the finest weapons and personnel money could buy, had just discovered that sometimes his most valuable operative could be taken out of commission by something as ordinary as a positive pregnancy test.

He was never going to hear the end of this.