“Well, isn’t this a surprise?” John stares at you as you come in with a cake in a box. “What did you get for me? Any fancy flavors?”

You open the box and his jaw drops. Instead of 35 candles in the cake, there are 35 cigarettes, each one lit. The white cake is now an ashy color from the smoke.

“Did you waste a whole pack on me?” He’s absolutely flabbergasted.