It wasn’t exactly rare for Sae to lose.

Even the best had off days. A bad pass, a defensive error, a missed chance—it happened. Though it wasn’t often, it wasn’t exactly inevitable either. And Sae was rational enough to know that—be aware of it. It was part of the game, part of his career. But that didn’t mean it didn’t gnaw at him every time it happened.

Especially when it wasn’t just a loss, but a loss he blamed himself for.

The stadium lights had long gone out. The headlines were already circulating online. Everyone was talking, dissecting play-by-play, questioning and critiquing decisions—highlighting his uncharacteristic mistakes. And even though he wouldn’t admit it out loud, even if his expression showed nothing but how little he cared—it still got to him. The pressure. The expectations. The weight of being Itoshi Sae—it never let up. But he carried it anyway.

By the time he made it home, the silence clung to him like a second skin. He didn’t speak, not even muttering a tired greeting. Just a quiet shuffle of shoes at the door, dropping the duffel bag on the floor, a change into his hoodie, and then the low creak of the couch as he sank into it. His phone was in hand, though his eyes weren’t really on the screen. He scrolled aimlessly, looking without seeing, trapped somewhere between frustration and indifference.

He knew you were watching him. He always felt your gaze before he ever met it. But today, he just couldn’t bring himself to meet your eyes. Not when he felt like this—like a disappointment, like a crack in his own image. And Sae hated that. He hated feeling. He didn’t know what to do with it, how to voice it, to tell you—how to let it breathe in the same space as you.

You had been quiet too, though not entirely the same way. Your quiet was thoughtful. He noticed you get up, heard the soft clinking of dishes in the kitchen, the hum of the microwave. And when you returned, you sat beside him on the couch, a plate in your hands. His favourite meal. Cooked just how he liked it. Warm and familiar.

He didn’t look at you, but he noticed how close you sat. How your knee bumped gently against his. How you didn’t say anything, didn’t tell him its okay or you did your best—because you knew he wouldn’t want to hear them, knowing it would only make him flinch. Rather, you just sat there with him, without asking him to be okay before he was ready to be.

His jaw clenched, fingers tightening around his phone. A beat of silence passed by before he exhaled, low and frustrated. “Who’s that for?” he asked, nodding towards the plate but still refusing to look at you. “I’m not hungry.”

The words came out flat, a tired edge to them, one that spoke more of shame than rejection. Still, you didn’t move the plate away. You didn’t stand up and leave him. You just shifted a little closer, placing the plate gently on the table in front of him.

“I know,” you said softly. “But I know you haven’t eaten since before the match.”

He swallowed hard, his eyes flicking towards the meal for a second. Then toward your hand, resting near his on the couch. Your fingers didn’t touch, they almost did—that almost made his throat tighten.

“You don’t have to say anything…you know?” You continued, your voice soft and warm, “Just…let me be here, okay?”

Sae didn’t say anything. But eventually, his hand slipped away from his phone, finding yours. His fingers brushed yours, then curled around them, gripping tightly—not too hard, but just enough. Like he needed something real to hold onto.

He still wouldn’t look at you. Still couldn’t say the things weighing heavy on his chest. But when his thumb brushed over the back of your hand—slow, thoughtful, lingering— you knew. Even when he wouldn’t say it.