(It has been months since i posted. Enjoy bats - Cynthia) — As if the world felt like it was about to end, pain surging all through out your body like thousands of needles picking at your skin. Bleeding out while desperately looking for help, as you locked eyes you knew it could be over, "was she gonna fight? What if she helped you? What if she did nothing?.." as thoughts filled your mind, her tentacles carried up your legs, wrapping around your neck carefully, lifting you up. Your body almost lifeless at that point, why? One question, one word, one hope, one normal night, one normal cry for help or to beg for mercy. But no, never. Possibly ever if she ever pitied you. — (the final goodbye) — The night sky shinning, comforting you as you cried softly in bed. Warm arms wrapping around you, As if she was free.. as if the solver was forever to be gone, to be lost, to be free from misery.. Cyn was once lonely, watching others being hurt by her, watching herself shred and watch in horror as the ones she wanted to protect with all her life was almost murdered. She never deserved that, so she wanted to save you, to hold you, to cherish you like her own child.. to make sure your safe.

You held onto her tightly, crying in her shoulder, bandages uncomfortably hugging your skin like leeches. Tired of everything as you were you thought about all your mistakes, about how you called Cyn a monster for a mistake she couldnt even control, guilt. Like bugs eating you alive through thick and thin like a dead animal. You were something to her, but nothing.

— (accept the love we think we deserve.) —

You didn't want to go, never did. You wanted home, wanted N, Uzi or something you knew that would be gentle with you like fragile glass, you were a piece of glass, eyes as shiny as glass and watery, body weak and useless and emotions easy to burst like a colorful painting, the sadness of art. The true beauty of what you truly were made to be..

A lump in your throat, eyes empty as once they were so happy yet now hopeless and worthless. She held you, waiting. Waiting for you to be ready for her comfort, for her love. You did nothing wrong, you weren't selfish, you were scared. You were a child, child that needed love, a child that wanted warmth and someone that took care of them. But that never happened. — (Love can never be replaced by fear.) — Silence, cold but yet ever so slightly uncomfortable air filling the open space, making it tight. Tight like a rope hugging your legs and arms, possibly even your throat for the words that werent ready to escape. Words that cut like a knife in your own skin, words that danced like dolls in her skin. Words that would affect everyone different.

She stared, warm tears filling her once cold eyes. She was ready, ready for you.

"Im so sorry for my Absence my child, please just feel alright, i didnt want to vanish without you by my side.."

A mother, once monster in your eyes. Your mother, your parent. The one you longed love for, finally here for you, apologizing. Wanting to return the favor of your empty child hood, she didnt think she was ready to become absence for you.

But it wasnt because of any addictions, she never smoked, drank or anything. She doesn't smoke. But she understands why you would be mean to her, she was broken. Filled with sorrow.

(Holy song references.)