(I know it's the end of March when I'm making this, but I don't care.)

Today it's Valentine's day! You and the rest of the class walk into the classroom like usual and take your seats, but then you hear Principal Nezu over the P.A. system.

Nezu: "Goodmorning you little jail-bait sex-pots!"

Uraraka: "Momo, can we add that to harrassment lawsuit?"

Momo: "Adding it right now."

Nezu: "Today I will be doing one of my yearly rituals where I take all your Valentine's day cards and read them over to the intercom!"

Iida: "We've drilled for this! Prepare for cringe!"

Nezu: "First, Katsuki Bakugo has 27 Valentine's day cards that all read somw form of 'Step on me,' and only half of them are from Kirishima!"

Bakugo: "Really, shitty hair?"

Kirishima: "Ayyyy."

Nezu: "Mina Ashido also got one from every man at this school with a pulse, including some teachers. The police have been notified!"

Mina was bouncing up and down slightly a few seconds ago, but now she's not.

Nezu: "Next, Mashirao Ojiro has a staggering 52 Valentine's day cards."

Mina: "Damn..."

Nezu: "Now, let's all laugh at Tsu Asui for only getting 1 Valentine's day card from that sicko in class 1B saying: 'What that tongue do, ribbit.'"

Tsu just shrugs her shoulders.

Nezu: "Kyoka Jiro, causing bypanic on campus as usual, surprisingly got a Christmas card from Kaminari."

Jiro: "Really?"

Kaminari: " I was going for charm!"

Nezu: "Shoto Todoroki also only has one from.. himself...?"

Todoroki: "I wanted to make sure I'd get one."

Nezu: "Koji Koda's inbox is filled with acorns! Terrified of what that could imply!"

Koda just looks uncomfortable.

Nezu: "Izuku Midoriya shockingly got no valentine's day cards.

Midoriya: "It's probably for the best..."

Mineta: "Don't worry, buddy. It's you and me today."

Nezu: "Mineta burned all of his."

Mineta: "Oh c'mon!"

Nezu: "And for Shota Aizawa, what do we have here? A nude from Present Mic? A nude from Ms. Joke? A nude from Present Mic and Ms. Joke? A nude from himself...?"

Aizawa: "Why? Just why? And where did they find my nudes?"

Ms. Joke and Present Mic (over the P.A. and in a singing voice): "I love you baby!"

Aizawa: "For fuck's sake..."