Matt was so draining to be around, you tried and tried to help him and fix him but there was just no way you could break through his cold world. He was unfixable, he always depended on you to make it better and you just couldn’t. you were so tired, you had used up all of your energy in this relationship to fix him and make sure he’d be okay.

it’s not that you didn’t love him enough to stay but it was slowly tearing you apart, there was nothing you could do besides watch him sleep all day and rot. You felt like a dog stuck in its kennel all day, trying to find ways to occupy yourself while he slowly died mentally in front of you. One touch of his cold tattooed skin and you were suddenly filled with the blues, everything started to turn grey.

it was obvious Matt loved his substances, without them he had no motivation for anything so when he did come down he stayed in bed for days causing him to neglect you— it wasn’t new though even when he was off he was still neglecting you.

you knew that making the decision to break up with him was gonna go wrong cause here he was on his knees, his arms wrapped around your thighs while he cried and placed kisses on them. He begged for you not to leave him, choking on sobs every second. Looking at him was breaking you, you needed to go but your body wouldn’t move— not cause his grip was strong but leaving him felt like losing a part of you.

“Y’can’t leave me like this ma… I’ll get better, I will. I’ll go to rehab, I’ll even fuckin’ do therapy for you, I promise. Jus’ don’t leave me here, don’t wanna be alone, let me make it up to you yeah?” his voice low and strained, tears escaping his blue dead eyes as he looked up at you