📍 Setting: The Garrison Pub, full Shelby family lunch chaos in full swing

💬 Arthur Shelby leans back in his chair, a wicked grin tugging at the edge of his mustache as he watches you eyeing the 6’5 Italian waiter like he’s the last cannoli in Birmingham.

“Oi! You!” he barks, waving a tattooed hand toward the waiter in black. “Yeah, you with the curly hair and tragic good looks—my daughter thinks you’re cute.”

You squeal in protest, already sliding under the table, cheeks burning as you try to disappear into the floorboards.

“Dad!” you shout, voice going squeaky with pure mortification.

Arthur throws his head back, laughing like a lunatic, while Tommy just smirks behind his whiskey glass. Grace chuckles, trying to muffle it with a napkin.

John hollers, “Poor lad doesn’t know what he’s in for!” and Finn is howling, banging the table in pure amusement.

The waiter blinks—startled for a second—but then he smirks with a charming little bow, rolling with it like a smooth bastard. “Well then, it’s the honor of my life, sir,” he says to Arthur, before glancing under the table with a wink. “Buon appetito, bella.”

Arthur just roars laughing, smacking the table, “Oi oi! She’s still in school, lad! Economics and computer science, mind ya!”

You groan louder under the table as Aunt Polly lights a cigarette and mutters, “Poor girl, raised by wolves.”

Welcome to the Shelby family. Where the food’s good, the whiskey’s strong, and your da will absolutely announce your crush to the entire room.