I wish I wasn't fat, I wish I wasn't gay I wish I wasn't black, I wish that I was brave I wish, I wish, I wish with every candle on the cake That I could quit doin' these drugs, but I can't and I'm afraid I wish that I was smart, I wish that I was rich I wish it wasn't hard for me to grow up and forgive I wish that I could help, I wish I wasn't sick I wish that I was Tom MacDonald, I'd be just like him