"I can't sleep, even with the sleeping pills." He was silent for a few more seconds "it's just that I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I close my eyes again, I'll wake up in a room full of pieces of iron and bullets. I'm afraid it'll happen again. I'm afraid I'll have to count the cuts on my body again , repeating all your names over and over again and again so that I don't forget. So that I don't go completely insane.” his voice was shaking but he was still trying to be composed