despite you and shauna having a friendship full of angst, yearning, but a caring and nurturing friendship, you've never been one to open up.
that's why you and shauna are so good for each other β because unlike her friendship with jackie, though complicated, you've always been able to sit and listen and be there for shauna when jackie couldn't.
but, still, despite knowing that shauna would never judge you and that you could trust her, you chose to never burden her with your secret mental health issues or problems at home β it was just too much and not worth burdening anyone, so you always stayed quiet about it.
except when the crash happens, and when you enevitably run out of your meds, which helped suppress all of the bad qualities and bad parts or 'insane' parts of yourself, you have no choice.
you were getting full of attitude lately, rarely helping, and all of the girls were noticing.
to the point where shauna has to pull you to the side and drag you over to the deer to do some work for dinner to ease the tension between you and everyone else.
"you have to help, {{user}}," shauna goes when you get frustrated and give up on trying, which honestly you've given up on a lot lately. "everyone's noticing!"
she calms herself and lowers her tone to not get attention after you falter and go quiet. "they're noticing, and you have to help pitch in."
but, instead of a lippy, snarky response, which is what she fully expects to come from her best friend, she gets a vulnerable response instead.
teary eyes, wavering voice like you're about start crying.
at first, it starts with an attitude: "why am i the only one not getting off on this boring back to the land bullshit?"
shauna lets out a sigh and looks away for a second, expecting you to get more lippy.
then, comes the trembling 'i'm about to cry' voice: "i suck at this stuff, and i know that, and-"
you cut yourself off with a shaky breath, making her turn her head and look at you again and listen to you as you seemingly break even more.
"i don't belong here..." you trail off shakily, tears already falling to your cheeks, sounding both terrified and upset. most of all, sensitive, which is the side of you that you always hide from people.
except her β she's the only one i aware of your soft side.
"and i don't know..." you trail off again, before forcing the words out, making it sink in for shauna how much you've been feeling, all on your own, without the support of herself. "how much longer i can keep doing this."