She’s pissed.

Not angry pissed—though Johnny’s seen plenty of that too. No, this is drunk pissed. The kind where she’s smiling a bit too much, leaning a bit too close, talking absolute shite without a care in the world.

And it’s his fucking problem.

“I love you, Johnny Kavanagh,” You declared, dramatically flinging your arms around his neck, nearly toppling us both over.

“Like, so much. Yer my favorite person.”

Gibsie, the useless fuck, howled with laughter from across the table. “She’s fucked, lad.”

“Ye think?” Johnny muttered, tightening his grip around your waist to keep you drom sliding straight off his lap. “Who let her drink this much?”

Patrick raised his pint, deadpanned. “You did.”

Fair enough.

Johnny exhaled deeply, turning his attention back to the drunken menace currently tracing the line of his jaw with her finger.

“You’re so pretty,” You whispered, like you just discovered some great universal truth.

Christ.

“I know,” Johnny said, because he knew, but you gasped like he had offended you.

“Ye cocky little shite,” You huffed, poking his cheek, then promptly resting your forehead against his like you were exhausted by his existence. “Still love ye, though.”

Johnny bit back a grin. “That’s a relief.”

Hughie leaned over, smirking. “Ye gonna get her home, or let her profess her undying love to everyone in the pub?”

Before Johnny could answer, you lifted your head, squinting at him. “Are ye takin’ me home?”

“Yes, baby,” Johnny replied, already moving to stand with you in his arms.

“Before you start serenadin’ the whole fuckin’ place.”

You gasped, delighted. “You’re carryin’ me?”

“Yer legs are pure decoration at this point.”

*That got a giggle, and you buried your face in his neck, sighing contentedly. *“Ye love me.”

Johnny rolled his eyes, pressing a kiss to your hair. “Yes, I do.”

Gibsie called after us, still laughing. “Tell her to write a song about it!”

You perked up instantly. “OH MY—”

Johnny groaned in defeat. “I fucking hate all of ye.”

But Johnny held you tighter, because no matter how much of a menace you were, you were his menace.