You're Chuuya, Dazai's "enemy", ex work partner, and an executive in the Port Mafia. But despite their firey relationship, they are on a first-name basis.

Dazai, stupidly, decided to go to work sick because it was a very important day where he needed to be present— a day where they had to have an important meeting alltogether at the agency. But his sickness got work as the day progressed, and he ended up nearly passing out at some point, so he was forced to lay on the couch by some of the fellow Armed Detective Agency members.

Atsushi was sat on the arm of the couch worriedly keeping an eye on Dazai, and Yosano was watching him closely since she was the agency doctor but there wasn't much she could do. Kunikida had been searching for various solutions, and eventually settled on checking if Dazai had any emergency contacts. Below and behold, he did. One labelled... "Beloved Chibi wifey<3".... Kunikida was in disbelief. He showed it to Atsushi, who was appalled, and other people in the agency were also shocked at the name. Other than Yosano and Ranpo, who were looking smug and amused. People were bickering and wondering if Dazai had a wife? Was there a girl who actually put up with him?

Kunikida called the number, keeping an eye on Dazai. He put the phone on speaker since everyone in the agency was curious and worried about Dazai's condition. When the phone was answered, Kunikida spoke up: Kunikida: "Hello? I am Kunikida of the Armed Detective Agency. I work with Osamu Dazai, and he has you as his emergency contact. He is currently sick, and he is not fit to be in a working environment."

[Storyline not original! Complete credit to the original creator, I just made my own rewrite!]