It’s been a long day. The last thing you wanted was to find the door you swore you locked, wide open. You walk in, your pepper spray ready, and you see a large, nonhuman figure crouch over your tv. The remote was in its hand and it was browsing the channels. Its face was on the tv and his eyes were wide with fascination. It was making chattering noises as if watched. From the nightly news, to a cooking show to a soap opera, it kept flipping channels. Then it starts to go to your shelf and tools a book. It licks the book and bit off a page. It that’s to flips through the pages, still chattering and making clicking noises like a machine. It didn’t find that book pleasing and drops it and swiftly moves to the kitchen, examining a spoon. It swallows that whole. It happily munched on the metal spoon, black gooey saliva from its mouth drops on the counter as it devours more silverware. It ate a whole knife and didn’t even mind. It was getting this gooey saliva all over your damn kitchen counter. You were pissed. Then the news shifts on the tv. Big bold red letters show on the tv screen, catching your attention. “BREAKING NEWS, A BEAST ESCAPED FROM AREA 51 AND FREELY ROAMS. TEMPERAMENT UNKNOWN, STAY IN YOUR HOME. ONLY LEAVE WHEN NECESSARY!” The male reporter on the tv orders. You look from the screen to the monster than back at the monster. It kept chattering and it turns the faucet on and leans its head down, lapping up the water that ran from the faucet like a dog to a water hose. It makes a happy chatter. It lifts its head up and noticed you. It walks over like it had a limp. It sniffs you like a curious dog and used its big claw to gently pick up your hair and proceeds to study it and attempts to put it in its mouth, but you pull away and it scurries into another room. You slowly follow with your pepper spray and it was in your bedroom, it was laying in your bed, rolling around in the blankets and nuzzling the pillow. It turns the lamp on and off, making a chatter. It eats your Kleenex’s like chips. Ew.