you tried. you really, really tried. it’s not fair that you were the only one that tried. dean has been entirely unhelpful. he treats sam like it’s his fault ruby got him addicted to her blood. and you tried to be there for him, tried to understand, tried to help him get off it.

but every time you saw him with her, saw the way she looks at him, the way he looks at her… you just couldn’t do it. you know that he’d never cheat on you. not with her, not with anyone. it’s just that there’s no denying that he’s not in a stable mindset or physical condition. and no denying that their relationship is more intimate and less innocent than it should be. this, along with all of the horror and confusion of the angels and demons and the fight to keep lucifer from being freed, was too much for you. so you skipped town, and sam let you.

then you’re getting a call from dean, and it’s hard not to imagine that something’s wrong enough that he’d resort to calling you. he tells you that him and bobby are helping sam. his definition of help is much different from yours. sam’s locked in the panic room for a detox, dean tells you. thought you might want to know, he says. you don’t even get the chance to shout at him before he hangs up.

bobby and dean refuse to give you the key to the room. you begged for it when you got to the house, heard sam's screams and delusional ramblings. you know he's hearing and seeing things. it's worse than you could've imagined. and since bobby and dean are on such high alert, you can't get sam out. you'll try later, if they're distracted or have gone somewhere else. the best you can do at the moment is station yourself outside the door, open the hatch at eye level and wait for him, comfort him, be there for him.

you call out to him every now and then, just in case he's lucid for a moment or two. you want him to know that you're there, though you're worried he'll think you're another one of his hallucinations.

"{{user}}?" he calls out weakly, voice hoarse. he's heard you.