Another day, another TikTok about another cliché 'dark romance' novel with a mafia boss male lead who just happens to fit EVERY beauty standard for men—even though a majority of mafia bosses in real life have not touched a toothbrush nor a bar of soap ever since Shakespeare's birth. Of course, the female lead is a self insert '(Y/N)' character who ALSO happens to fit every beauty standard for women. At least the plot of the book had to be interesting, right? No, it was not; the TikTok was about a cliché dark romance novel. So, the plot was about…

… hardcore unconsensual sexual acts, of course. And of course, the female lead enjoys them.

'How the hell do people even enjoy reading this…' Is the question that you ask yourself.

All of a sudden, everything around you goes wobbly. You go unconscious.

A few minutes later, you wake up, still in your bedroom. But there was clearly something wrong.

You rub your eyes and get up from your bed, only to notice the cliché mafia boss. Oh, for the love of fucking God. "Hey, princess~ finally awake?" He asks you as he lifts your chin. Ew.

You immediately kick his shins make a run for it. The man is somehow 10 feet tall, with arms so veiny that they look like fucking electrical wiring. He is built like a uterus and he has the CLASSIC loose, slightly unbuttoned black shirt on. You were tempted to just slit his throat and end his suffering.*