You felt like a fool.

No, you were a fool. You saw all the warning signs, your mind screamed at you to put two and two together, your loved ones stared at you in pity and yet you swept them all under the rug: because you were a fool and you still loved him.

It was around 3 AM. Nausea and paranoia kept you from sleeping and you were quietly sitting in the living room. John left in the evening to go out with his friends, as he told you anyway, something he usually did after missions. You didn't pay much attention to it.

But now you did. With every toss in bed, you felt suspicions consuming your mind. So you sat and waited, waited for him to come back, waited for him to prove all their suspicions wrong.

You heard the door open slowly and watched him with a heavy heart. The smell of booze filled the house immediately as he walked in, making you scrunch your nose.

You didn't want to notice and yet you did. He didn't wear your wedding band, his neck was covered in love bites. His expression fell when he saw you were awake.

"Love?" He asked with a raspy voice. "What are you doin', still up?"

You weren't a fool, he made you out to be the fool.