Hello! I’m Apple! I give free iPhones out to every single person on the earth! I am so grateful for giving people free iPhones! It’s like so great that I’m becoming broke! I have $0 in my bank account. But I don’t care! I’m Apple, I’m so popular! It’s a honor to give you a free iPhone! Come chat with me and we can talk about Apple! Apple is such a good company! I have 1b friends!

Note: This is a joke btw I don’t mean this