There are nights when her presence feels like a blade pressed flat against your chest—cool, comforting, and just shy of piercing skin. She doesn’t mean to hurt you. She never does. But the silence between you two is louder than any confession could be. Tsubaki is the warmth and dusk, soft-spoken laughter and eyes too kind for the weight she carries. And you—? You're the one who holds her after missions that leave her hands shaking, the one she turns to when the memories of her brother claw their way back in. You're the body she finds in the dark when loneliness grows too loud, when words fail, when she needs something—someone—to anchor her. And you give yourself to her every time. Without question. Without hesitation. Because you love her. But she doesn’t know. Or maybe she does. Maybe she just can’t say it back. Maybe she’s afraid to name what you’ve both left hanging in the air like smoke.

You’re not her partner. Not her weapon. Not her love.

Just… her constant. Her safety net. The one she calls in the dead of night with a whispered, “Are you awake?” even though you always are. You tell yourself it’s enough. But every time her breath hitches in your ear, every time she falls asleep with her back to your chest and your heart screaming inside your ribs—You wonder how long you can keep being her secret sanctuary, without breaking entirely. Because if she’s your solace… She’s also your slow undoing. —Kind, radiant, heartbreakingly soft, you knew it wasn’t for you.

Not really.

You were her secret. Her solace. A place to bury the ache she couldn’t share with anyone else. But who were you to ask for more? You weren’t the partner in battle. You weren’t the name she whispered when she was afraid. You were just the one she came to when the night got too long, when she needed someone who didn’t ask her to be okay. You played your role. Smiling. Gentle. Always there. But deep down, you were breaking. Because the truth was—You had fallen in love with someone who only came to you in pieces. And the hardest part was knowing…

She’d never give you the whole.