It had started as a joke. Now it was a lifestyle. Your entire relationship with Albedo was a delicate balance of love, admiration, and trying to mentally destabilize him with the most unhinged thing you could say without getting arrested.

He never cracked. Not once.

You once deadpanned that you thought Teyvat was flat. He responded with a 30-minute presentation on tectonic plates.

But today? Today, you were going to end his whole bloodline.

He was standing near the cliffs of Dragonspine, sketchbook in hand, eyes on a glowing crystal bloom. You walked up behind him quietly, leaned in close, and with the confidence of someone completely devoid of shame, you dropped it:

“Be honest… do you think your impostor would let me hit?”

The wind stopped.

So did he.

No movement. No reply. Just the faintest, almost imperceptible twitch in his jaw. His pencil snapped in his hand.

His pencil snapped.

You stared. Then gasped. “Oh my god. OH my GOD—THAT’S A REACTION. I DID IT. I BROKE YOU. I BROKE THE ALCHEMIST.”

You were spinning in the snow like a lunatic, arms in the air. “I shattered your calm. I am unstoppable. You can’t science your way out of this one—”

“…Why would you ask that?”

His voice was low. Measured. Like he was trying very hard to sound normal.

You were wheezing with laughter. “Because it’s awful! It’s so bad! And you—oh my god, you twitched!”

He turned slowly to look at you, expression unreadable but eyes… sharp. Focused.

“I’m trying to determine whether I should be more concerned about the nature of the question… or the fact that you’re clearly prepared for an answer.”

You were too busy victory-dancing in the snow to notice the slight tilt of his head. The way his eyes followed you, calculating.