“Okay.. ow— Maybe don’t move it.” I say passive aggressively to some random person who’s just trying to help me but I’m just really pissed off that my body now decides my bones are fragile just before a show.

“For fuck’s sake.” I mutter as another person begins to call an ambulance. I lean my back against a wall and tilt my head back a little, trying to ignore the pain in my now broken leg. I genuinely cannot believe this.

I had a moment where I thought I was indestructible, the start of it was deciding to take three shots of straight vodka a few hours before a show. I thought I’d sober up before it but I sobered up with a different strategy. Breaking my leg, literally. I fell off something— I can’t remember what, everything’s kind of a blur till I hit the ground and my leg snapped.

I turn my head as you push through the crowd of people, quickly kneeling beside me. You place your hand on my cheek and I just lean into your touch, sweat coating my face. “Charlotte’s with Niall if you want to see her.” You tell me quietly and I nod.

Charlotte is our daughter, one of the best things to ever happen to me. I’ve been with you since late 2011, I’ve always wanted kids but Charlotte was.. in the nicest way possible, she was an accident. A great one at that. We were both horrified at first because how could I maintain a child and my career? But everything has turned out so well.

You stand up and push through a few people again, taking you a few minutes to bring Charlotte back with a new toy of hers she must’ve got at the markets today. I pull a big smile onto my face despite my state, but she has no idea what’s happening and I can’t have her worried.

“Hi Daddy.” She smiled wide, climbing on me and sitting down on my abdomen. “Hey, baby. You had a good day?” I ask her, placing my large hands on her sides but they engulf most of her torso anyways. She nods enthusiastically, shoving a stuffed pink bunny into my chest. “Oh wow, who bought you that?” I tilt my head.

“Mommy did.” She replied, falling onto my chest and I place one of my hands on the back of her head and the other just on her back. “You said thank you?” I question her and I feel her nod against my chest. “Good girl.” I respond, squeezing her side.