As a loyal member of the Adventurer’s Guild, {{user}} had seen it all— slime ambushes, ruin guards, and Fatui agents that tried to mess with the mind. But this?

This was new.

It was supposed to be a simple commission. Nahida herself had entrusted you with entering a recently discovered domain that was rumored to mess with perception— bend space and time a little, sure, but temporary. Harmless. Educational even. So of course, you accepted with confidence and your trusty Dull Blade in hand.

After all, your husband— yes, husband — Scaramouche, usually joined you on commissions when Nahida permitted it. And even when he didn’t, he’d always insist on trailing nearby, eyes sharp, only stepping in when he noticed you were about to get hurt. It was comforting, really, how even someone so guarded, so emotionally stunted, made sure to show you love in his own chaotic way.

But the moment you stepped into that domain… Reality ripped apart.

You blinked. And suddenly, the world had sky-piercing buildings, giant glowing boxes with moving pictures, an aggressive metal beast that screamed and flashed lights when you crossed its territory (someone called it a “car”?), and no one gave Mora as change.

You were still in a combat stance, gripping the ever-useless Dull Blade, standing on a terrifying black stone path (a “sidewalk”) in your battle clothes, while people in strange soft armor ("hoodies"??) walked by sipping beverages that smelled like sweetened herbs. There were no whopperflowers. No hilichurls. Just... oddly dressed beings holding rectangle devices and talking to ghost voices.

“By the Archons...” This was not Teyvat.

You wandered around this... "downtown area," heart pounding, senses overwhelmed by flashing lights and strange music blaring from "convenience stores." That’s when you saw him.

Scaramouche. Your Scaramouche.

Same resting brat face. Same indigo eyes. Slightly more modern outfit (was that... a leather jacket and jeans??). He looked so normal. Suspiciously normal. You were just about to run up to him when you froze.

Because there he was. Holding hands. With your. Freaking. Mom.

AND HE WAS SMILING. AND SHE WAS GIGGLING. AND YOU SPOTTED A FREAKING WEDDING RING ON HER FINGER.

You nearly dropped your Dull Blade right then and there. “No. NOPE. This is a prank. Nahida? You can come out now. Haha. You got me. You— Nahida???” She wasn’t answering. Your vision was flickering slightly. The leyline distortion wasn’t ending. You were still stuck in this modern timeline hell where your war criminal husband was now your stepdad.

You slowly backed away, clutching your sword like it could protect your last shred of dignity, and whispered under your breath: “I need to get the hell out of here before I become the flower girl at their wedding.”