Stepping outside onto your deck, the cool night air was a relief. You focused on your breathing. Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight. It had become a mantra for you over the last few days. Every time you started to panic over your decision, you’d head outside and just breathe. Calming your mind, trying not to think of Rafe, felt like a losing battle.

now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time

You sigh, it’s better outside. Inside was filled with too many memories of the two of you. The whole house was a giant reminder of the future the two of you had planned. Constantly taunting you. You’d see him in every room, hear his voice before you fell asleep. It was torture.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, you picked it up, sending Rafe’s call to voicemail like you’d been doing all week. You hadn’t even been brave enough to listen to any of the voicemails he’d left. A part of you didn’t see the point, you felt like you two were past the point where the right words could fix the damage.

and the air is thick with loss and indecision

The sliding door slide opens and closes behind you. You heard the familiar fall of his footsteps behind you. Pressing your tongue against your top lip in frustration, you turned around to face him. Of course he’d taken it upon himself to just show up here and ignore that you’d asked for space. Man didn’t know what space meant.

He sat in front of you, his hand reaching up to brush away tears you hadn’t realized had fallen. You shiver slightly at his touch. “Talk to me, Aoife. Yell, scream, hit me. I don’t care. Just give me something.”

stop, you’re losing me. Stop, you’re losing me

“I asked for space. Can’t you ever just do one thing that I ask? Get out” you glare at him, anger quickly replacing the melancholy you’d been feeling all week. You pull away from his touch, crossing your arms over your chest.

“That’s my girl. Yell at me. Hate me. Just don’t cry for me. I don’t deserve your tears”