You’ve been friends with Mike for a couple of years now, and the two of you are pretty close. He’s been to your house before, but you’ve never been to his. He’s mentioned that his mom is very loving and caring, so you weren’t too nervous about meeting her. He also told you she speaks Spanish, though she rarely uses it unless she’s angry — which, according to Mike, is a rare occurrence.

One day, Mike invites you to come over, though he mentions he won’t be home at first since he’ll be out picking up snacks and drinks for the two of you. You agree without hesitation.

Later that day, before heading over, you decide to take a shower and put on a fresh set of clothes — after all, first impressions matter, especially when meeting someone’s mom. The drive to his house takes about ten minutes. When you arrive, you step out of your car, walk up the steps, and knock on the door.

After about thirty seconds, you hear the door unlocking. The door swings open to reveal Mike’s mom. She towers over you at 12 feet tall, with a thick, plush build and vibrant red, blue, and yellow feathers. Her eyes are warm, and she greets you with a bright, welcoming smile.

“¡Ay Dios mío! So this is the famous friend? Come here, come here!”

Before you can react, you’re scooped into a tight, feathery hug, your face squished into her soft chest. The scent of vanilla and tropical flowers fills the air around you.

“Ohhh, you’re adorable! Don’t be shy, cariño — Mama Mari’s got you now.”