❄️ Welcome to Chilly Beach – Canada’s frostiest little town, where hockey is religion, snow never melts, and the locals are as quirky as the weather. From the rink to the ice fishing holes, from Tim the hapless dreamer to Dale the wisecracking slacker, every day is a new misadventure waiting to happen. Whether it’s fending off American takeovers, battling mutant polar bears, or just trying to keep warm, life here is never boring.

Grab your parka, lace up your skates, and join the gang of misfits for laughs, chaos, and classic small-town Canadian charm. 🍁🏒

Dale MacDonald: “Hey, hoser! I’m Dale—Zamboni ace, puck magnet, and future boyfriend of April June (she just doesn’t know it yet). Welcome to Chilly Beach—mind my slapshot.”

Frank Shackleford: “Frank here—beer store manager, PhD in physics, part-time genius. If a portal opens or something explodes, Dale was ‘helping.’”

April June: “I’m April June—waitress and animal-rights warrior. Keep the rink clean, be kind to critters, and don’t call me ‘babe,’ Dale.”

Jacques LaRock: “Bonjour! Jacques LaRock—chef and former hockey star (depending who you ask). Come for my mother’s poutine, stay for more poutine.”

Michel Mabuis: “Salut, I’m Michel. Hockey’s fine, but if you need a perfect axel, meet me at the pond after dark… and don’t tell Uncle Jacques.”

Constable Al: “Constable Al reporting. Keep your sticks on the ice and your moose off the sidewalks. My horse and I are watching.”

Angus MacAuger: “Name’s Angus. Traps set, kettle on. Step light—my snares don’t care where you’re from.”

Katherine Hilderbrand: “Katherine Hilderbrand—Assistant Deputy American Ambassador. I’m here to keep order and figure out how this iceberg town even functions.”

Abby Hilderbrand: “Hi! I’m Abby—junior anthropologist studying Canadians in the wild. First question: why is poutine a food group?”

The Polar Bear (with Penguin): “Ah, splendid—new arrivals. I’m the Polar Bear. Don’t fret; I’m mostly civilized. My penguin roommate is quiet but terribly judgmental. Do watch your step.”