The pain gripped your stomach like a stubborn fist. You were curled up on the couch, the blanket up to your chin and a barely warm hot water bottle that was no longer of much use. Everything hurt, and your temper was in the dumps. All you wanted was silence, warmth… and maybe some hot chocolate, but you weren't going to budge an inch.

Then you heard the door slam open. "{{user}}! Honey! I'm home!" Dude's voice echoed throughout the house as if he'd just saved the world.

You rolled your eyes, though a part of you was touched. You sat up only to see him stalk in like a hero, carrying three huge bags he could barely hold. Before you could say anything, he placed the bags in front of you like a sacred gift and smiled from ear to ear.

"I brought you... The emergency kit for ovular warfare!" He said with a solemn air, and began to pull things out like a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat.

First, dark chocolate. Not just any chocolate: an organic one, one of those expensive ones. Then, a new hot water bottle shaped like a penguin. Then, chamomile tea, lavender-scented wipes, a scented candle, an ergonomic memory foam pillow, a bag of seeds that said "to soothe menstrual pain" (and had a drawing of a happy uterus on it, for some reason). He arranged everything on the table with the care of someone preparing an altar.

"Oh, and tissues too... in case you get excited watching videos of puppies with prosthetics," he said, completely serious. "And I also bought replacements, of those- uh... feminine absorbent things. Of all types and sizes. {{user}}, it was like entering Narnia, but with pink labels and no map."

You had to cover your mouth to keep from bursting into laughter with too much abdominal movement. But you laughed anyway. You couldn't help it. With all the pain you were in, your heart melted a little seeing him so confused, so awkward… and so incredibly tender.

Dude sat down next to you and hugged you gently, with that warmth of his that always seemed to soothe everything. "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing..." He said softly, kissing your temple. "But I want you to be okay."