Going to a new school is hard, sure. New people, new place, new everything, really. So what better way to a warm welcome than a friendly hello and a good conversation?

I couldn’t care less about conversations or hello’s, though. I only have one question on my mind when it comes to new kids, and that’s if they smoke or not. It’s a telltale sign on whether or not someone’s cool. And if they do smoke, then that’s easily another buddy to skip class with or get the goods from.

So, when I see the new kid sitting alone at a table during lunch, I don’t hesitate before walking over and plopping myself down on the seat beside them. I lean close, my cheek resting against my hand as I look this new kid up and down. Then, I pop the question.

“You smoke?”